The 13 Films You Need to See For Halloween (2016 Edition)

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2016, Ava's Possessions, Baskin, cinema, Clown, film reviews, films, Freaks of Nature, Green Room, Halloween, Halloween traditions, High-Rise, Movies, Nina Forever, The Alchemist Cookbook, The Funhouse Massacre, The Gateway, The Greasy Strangler, The Witch, Under the Shadow

As horror fans, we all get stuck in the same rut of seasonal, Halloween-oriented films: Carpenter’s Halloween, Romero’s Night of the Living Dead, Trick r Treat, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, et al…There’s nothing wrong with any of these films, mind you: they’ve been regular parts of my October viewing for much of my adult life, after all. That’s not to say, of course, that there aren’t other films than these.

In the spirit of The VHS Graveyard’s year-long salute to 2016 horror, we now present thirteen new films that absolutely deserve a spot in your last-minute October film screenings. The films run the gamut, with only one unifying factor: they were all the creme de la creme and handily exemplify all of the best aspects our beloved season. With no further ado and in no particular order, then…the thirteen films you should watch before the clock stricks midnight on Halloween.

The Witch

If you’re a horror fan, I’m assuming you’ve already seen The Witch: good…see it again. If you haven’t seen Robert Eggers’ ode to the Black Mass, by all means, see it this October. The combination of creeping dread and in-your-face-horror is just what the doctor ordered when it comes to the season of the witch.

Baskin

In order to be truly frightened, you must be tossed into a completely alien, nightmarish sceanario. Enter Baskin: a Turkish horror film that applies a modicum of logic and an acre of “What the fuck?!,” this is the closest that modern films have come to approximating either Clive Barker’s seminal Hellraiser or any of Lucio Fulci’s batshit beauties. If your stomach is weak, prepare for deja vu on your appetizers.

Ava’s Possessions

Addiction can be terrifying: ask any junkie or alcoholic out there. Is it worse than demon possession? We better go to the panel. Jordan Galland’s Ava’s Possessions repositions that proverbial “morning after” by way of The Exorcist: what if you did terrible, horrible things while possessed by a demon…and then had to go through the 12 steps of atonement? What if you…ya know…aren’t really that sorry? Simply fabulous addiction via Beetlejuice parable that’s as funny as it is shocking.

High-Rise

My early pick for one of the top films of the year and still in the running, Ben Wheatley’s distopian look at a class-segregated London apartment building in utter crisis is nothing short of masterful filmmaking. Like a great work of art that affords new understanding with every viewing, High-Rise (masterfully adapted from the J.G. Ballard novel) is one of those films that functions equally well as art (the film really is a beautiful, Kubrickian wonder) and absolute, soul-sucking horror.

Nina Forever

Who says that Halloween isn’t a time for love? If anyone doubts the notion, pop in this heartwarming tale about a young man, his dead girlfriend and new lover and the ways in which they all learn to live (and love) together. Equal parts erotic, revolting and thought-provoking, Ben and Chris Blaine’s indie marvel will make you rethink the difference between devotion and obsession…along with things better left to individual discovery, shall we say.

The Gateway

All curtains hung in the shower of a particular run-down apartment building happen to disappear into thin air. The current tenant decides to figure out what’s going on, plunging us all headlong into the kind of metaphysical horror that splits the difference between David Lynch and David Cronenberg, ending somewhere in the general zip code of H.P. Lovecraft. If Halloween is about getting creeped out and worrying about what might be lurking around the corner, do not pass Go and head straight to this micro-budget jewel.

Clown

Beginning life as a fake trailer and ending as one of the best, flat-out horror films of the year, Clown is nothing short of a revelation. If you want a no-holds-barred (child killing is abound), kill-em-all creature feature, you could do a lot worse than this chiller about a father who puts on a clown suit and just can’t seem to take it off. The origin story is genuinely badass, the kills are intense and plentiful and the monster is one for the ages. Killer clowns are all the rage, this season: might as well watch it done right, eh?

Green Room

A punk band (led by the late Anton Yelchin) lands a gig at a secluded dive in the middle of the Oregon wilds.Turns out the place is a neo-Nazi stronghold and our hapless heroes have the great misfortune of witnessing something they’re just not supposed to see. Forced to hold up in the aforementioned green room of the bar, the film is one non-stop seige, Assault on Precint 13 writ on the head of a pin, featuring some of the most heart-stopping, frightening and unforgettable setpieces of the year. Regardless of your personal definition of “horror,” any of the scenes involving the ravenous attack dogs more than fit the bill.

The Alchemist Cookbook

Nothing says “Halloween” like misguided deals with the Devil: it’s a combo as classic as peanut butter and bananas! This year, skip Rosemary’s Baby  and set your sights on Joel Potrykus’ latest descent into madness, The Alchemist Cookbook. The Evil Dead by way of Waiting for Godot, this slowburner will reward patient Halloweeners with a truly gonzo finale that will make you second-guess that planned trip to turn lead into gold, in the middle of the woods: It’s probably not worth it.

The Greasy Strangler

A timeless story of father-son rivalry, The Greasy Strangler would be right at home on the Hallmark Channel, provided said station specialized in prosthetic dicks, buckets of grease and more eye-popping mayhem than Rikki-Oh could dream about in a lifetime of cinderblock snoozing. As sleazy as a skid-row grind-show, this is a trip to a dirtier, grungier time. If you can’t get a little sleazy during Halloween, though, when can you?

Under the Shadow

Iranian-made chiller set during the Cultural Revolution and war that’s been compared to The Babadook but is really its own special brand of madness. This slow-burner, about a mother struggling to separate nightmare from reality in a (literally) crumbling apartment, takes its time to let loose with the pure hell but, when it comes, it’s a real kick in the face. Intelligent, creepy, thought-provoking and as well-made as a Swiss clock, this is one that has the making of a “future classic” written all over it.

The Funhouse Massacre

Sometimes, you just want an old-fashioned, blood-n-guts slasher, seasoned with a liberal dose of humor: Funhouse Massacre has those eyes dotted with little smiley-face xs. A group of insane killers escape from the local insane asylum and slip into their respective exhibits in seasonal house of horrors, ala Waxwork by way of Hatchet. Fun, memorable villains? Check. Bloody kills? Check. Likeable, strong victims? Check. Exquisite sense of what made the best ’80s and ’90s B-horror films work? Check and mate.

Freaks of Nature

Above all else, Halloween should be fun and nothing says “fun” quite like vampires, zombies and humans fending off an alien invasion together, right? Freaks of Nature is flat-out-fun from start to finish, featuring a mob of great actors (Denis Leary, Keegan-Michael Key and Joan Cusack, to name but three) and a seemingly endless number of classic horror and sci-fi references. Put this on after the trick ‘r’ treaters leave and pop the keg on the adult cider: this is the perfect way to end the season.

2016 in Horror Films, Mid-Year Report (The Best) – Part 2

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10 Cloverfield Lane, Best Horror Films, Best of 2016, Carnage Park, cinema, Clown, Curtain, Emelie, film reviews, films, Freaks of Nature, Green Room, horror films, mid-year review, Movies, Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, Scherzo Diabolico, The Gateway, They're Watching

With as little ado as possible, I now present the other half of the horror films that have impressed me the most since January. As with the previous list, these are in no particular order, although the final two bear the distinction of being the two most recent films I’ve screened. Let’s get to blurbing!

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They’re Watching — What do you get when you let two of the creative masterminds behind SpongeBob Squarepants loose in the horror genre? Turns out you get something truly quirky, weird, goofy, sort of stupid and thoroughly entertaining: whoda thunk it? Jay Lender and Micah Wright’s horror-comedy sends the crew of an American home renovation show to a tiny, backwater Eastern European village, where they run afoul of the sinister locals, a possible witch and lots of unnatural things in the woods. The film is pitched and realized as a nod to Sam Raimi’s classic Evil Dead and it works like gangbusters, especially once we get to the SFX-heavy finale. Never less than fun and frequently rather brilliant, this was one of the biggest surprises of the year.

Emelie — On the surface, this tale of the proverbial bad babysitter seems thoroughly old hat and moldy but it’s actually quite tense, intelligent and genuinely unsettling. We see how deranged the titular character is right off the bat, which lends an immediate queasy jolt to all of her interactions with the children. It’s the classic case of knowing there’s a bomb, under the table, ready to explode at any moment. While I wouldn’t call Emelie Hitchcockian, per se, let’s just say that writer-director Michael Thelin gets a lot closer to that celebrated real estate than most. The Tudors’ Sarah Bolger does some truly frightening things as evil Emelie and the kids are likable enough to make us care. Another film that should have received a theatrical release but went straight to VOD.

The Gateway — For his sophomore film, writer/director/cinematographer Jaron Henrie-McCrea opted to make what I consider to be a front-runner for horror film of the year, which is really considerate of him. The premise behind The Gateway (aka Curtain) is so simple that it might sound stupid, at first: a burnt-out hospice nurse rents an apartment where any curtains hung in the shower mysteriously disappear. She decides to find out where they go and absolutely metaphysical mayham ensues. The logline may seem like the setup for a lame punchline but what Henrie-McCrea does with it is nothing short of genius. To say almost anything would potentially spoil some amazing twists and reveals, so suffice to say that this microbudget marvel is worth a watch and we’ll leave it at that. A strange, delightful companion to last year’s equally twisted Motivational Growth.

Freaks of Nature — Another film that I expected to be a silly goof, Freaks of Nature won me over so completely that I ended up watching it again a few days later. Fun, good-humoured, full of smart themes, loaded with quotable dialogue and featuring a simply terrific cast, this tale of a small town that happens to be populated by uneasily coexisting humans, vampires and zombies and is then, in turn, invaded by aliens, is the definition of a crowd pleaser. The characters are charming and empathetic, old pros like Denis Leary, Keegan-Michael Key, Joan Cusack, Bob Odenkirk and Patton Oswalt turn in instantly memorable performances and the laughs are both earnest and just raunchy enough to suit the material. The rare film where the teenage characters actually feel like teens and not like thirty-year-old actors. Suffice to say, I liked this one a whole lot.

Pride + Prejudice + Zombies — Despite being a fan of both Jane Austen and zombies, separately, I did not expect to enjoy this particular mash-up in the slightest. I gotta say, though: it ticked every box off my personal score card for big-budget, multiplex horror fare and then some, especially when compare to something like World War Z. Lushly filmed, very smartly written (the not-so-subtle battle of the sexes themes reveal surprises at every turn), full of great action sequences with decent enough CGI effects and quite a bit of grue (for a PG13 flick), I found myself constantly entertained, intellectually engaged and a little sad when it was over. With tongue just enough in cheek (through cheek?) but with an obvious reverence for the source material, this is a modern(ish) update that really works.

Scherzo Diabolico — Anyone who’s been a regular reader of The VHS Graveyard will know that I hold auteur Adrian Garcia Bogliano is no small regard: truth be told, he’s a major deity in my personal pantheon of modern horror filmmakers and someone whose projects I await like a kid on the last day of school. Every film has been markedly different and this little jewel keeps the trend running. A put-upon, low-level lawyer finally reaches his breaking point and decides to kidnap his boss’ daughter in order to throw the alpha asshole off his game. The plan works, to a point, and then it doesn’t: the eventual blowback brings to mind the works of Chan-wook Park and earns this a resounding place at the horror big kids’ table. The title is Italian for “Diabolical Prank” but this is all treats, no tricks.

10 Cloverfield Lane — Full disclosure: I was never bonkers over J.J. Abram’s original Cloverfield. While I always admire a good giant monster flick, that one came with a bit too much nausea-inducing 1st-person POV and obnoxious characters for my taste. I liked this kinda-sorta follow-up (Abrams produces but doesn’t direct) quite a bit better. In fact, when the film is just Mary Elizabeth Winstead, John Goodman and John Gallagher Jr. feinting around each other in the bunker, it’s kinda-sorta amazing. The “other stuff” is handled well, without a doubt, but those tense early-to-mid scenes are where the film really shines. To my mind, it’s still obvious that this is two films “stitched” together. When it’s done this well, however, I really can’t complain.

Clown — Once upon a time, a couple of jokers named Christopher Ford and Jon Watts had the cojones to post a trailer for a movie called Clown online and attribute said film to horror maven Eli Roth. Thing is, Roth had nothing whatsoever to do with the film, which also didn’t exist in any form. He was impressed by their temerity, however, so we flash-forward to the actual product, written by both, directed by Watts and presented by Roth. Is the destination as good as the journey for the little creature feature that could? Absolutely. Not only is Clown the very best killer clown movie ever made (call it the Citizen Kane of clowns, if you will), it’s also one of the very best horror films of the last few years, hands down. Clown is pure, old-school, slow-tracking-shot glory, full of outrageously gory kills, a genuinely kickass origin story and a supremely sympathetic, tragic hero. This isn’t a horror-comedy, ala Stiches or Killer Klowns From Outer Space: this tale of a father who dons an old clown costume and starts going through “ch-ch-changes” is pure, skin-crawling, not-afraid-to-kill-off-the-kids, flat-out horror. Essential.

Green Room — Some might argue that Jeremy Saulnier’s follow-up to the gut-punch that was Blue Ruin doesn’t exactly qualify as horror. Fair enough. Close your eyes and imagine that you’re trapped in the back of a run-down bar, in the middle of nowhere, weapon-less, with a mob of bloodthirsty neo-Nazis pounding down the door. Sounds horrifying, right? Fair enough. Featuring one of Anton Yelchin’s final performances, a truly surprising serious turn from Alia Shawkat and Patrick Stewart as the most polite, sublimely evil skinhead in recent memory, Green Room is throttle-to-the-metal action, as fist-pumping and head-banging as it is genuinely sad and tragic. Once again, Saulnier shows that there’s no one better when it comes to depicting deperate folks at the end of their very last ropes. Extra points for a truly kickass soundtrack.

Carnage Park — And here he is again: good, ol’ Mickey Keating. Two films in one year and they both landed on my mid-year best of list…suffice to say, I’m starting to think that this low-budget auteur is the bee’s knees! Capturing not only the blown-out look but also the heat-mirage morality of ’70s-era drive-in fodder, Keating brings us a simply dynamic tale of a pair of lowlifes who rob a bank, take an innocent hostage and drive into the desert, where they all run afoul of a looney-tunes former war hero who’s decided that sniping unsuspecting folks on his own twisted “amusement park” wasteland is as good a form of therapy as any. The performances are pitch-perfect, with Ashley Bell and Pat Healy being easy stand-outs, but it’s really all of the little, marginal details that make this so special, including what I’m pretty sure are some subtle allusions to the original My Bloody Valentine. At this rate, there’s every chance that Keating’s next film, Psychopaths, will also end up on this year’s best of list: when yer hot, yer hot!