• About

thevhsgraveyard

~ I watch a lot of films and discuss them here.

thevhsgraveyard

Tag Archives: 2014

The Year in Review: The Final Wrap-Up

08 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by phillipkaragas in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

2014, Best of 2014, cinema, film reviews, films, Movies, wrap-up, year in review

497606412_640

The lists have been published, films have been ranked and 2014 gets further in the rearview mirror by the minute…what could possibly be left to do? As it turns out, not a whole lot except for wrapping it all up and putting a bow on it.

But first, a few last-minute thoughts on this previous year. As I was preparing for my end-of-the-year viewing, I took a look around the ol’ blogosphere, just to make sure I hadn’t overlooked any potential gems at the last minute, and noticed one prevailing trend among the various horror and genre film critics: in general, the consensus seems to be that 2014 was a particularly bad year for film. Despite missing several theatrical releases that have been frequently mentioned elsewhere (Guardians of the Galaxy, Boyhood, Gone Girl, John Wick, The Lego Movie, Foxcatcher, As Above So Below), I must offer the following rebuttal: if you noticed an absence of quality horror/genre films in 2014, it was simply because you weren’t looking in the right places.

For most of my life, I’ve been an avowed lover of going out to the movies. Growing up and all the way through college, I would often see several movies at the theater every weekend, sometimes one after the other. Over time, however, I’ve found that I go out to the movies much less frequently. My patience has steadily eroded, over time, and the kind of crowd annoyances that I would normally have brushed off (talking, texting, etc…) in the past now seem like huge problems. This doesn’t even take into account the exorbitant cost of a night out at the movies, of course, which has crept up into “live show” ranges.

Since I tend to avoid the theaters nowadays, I’m almost always late to the party with new releases: I always wait until the film either goes to Netflix (DVD) or some equitable streaming service before I see it. There are always exceptions, of course (I proudly went to see Prometheus as soon as it opened and I’ll be there for the next installment, as well). Since I go to the theater so infrequently these days, I find that I rarely pay attention to what’s out, since I never see it right away anyway.

All of this, of course, is by way of saying that I didn’t notice a shortage of quality films this year. Why? Well, probably because I wasn’t focused on the box office. As an example, three of the more derided big-screen horror releases this year were Annabelle, Jessabelle and Ouija. If one were to take a look at all theatrical horror released last year, it’s undeniably grim. If one factors in all of the streaming/DTV options out there, however, the story is much, much different. On an indie/outsider level, 2014 was practically an embarrassment of riches. In fact, taking a stroll through streaming outlets like Google Play reveals the kind of “multiplex” that’s sadly lacking nowadays: it’s not so much a matter of trying to find “anything” to watch as it is trying to choose between a dizzying array of choices.

Is this the way it should be? Absolutely not: despite my general dislike of theaters these days, horror and genre films have every right to be represented on the big screen along with everything else. The crucial problem begins when critics (and regular folks) see the theater as the end-all-be-all: taking a look at the 6 or 7 clunkers that played in multiplexes has the effect of giving short shrift to the 90 films that didn’t. You can’t get a good, overall sense of how a year went unless you can take a look at the whole picture: honing in on box office takes, sales records and the like gives a good idea of the financials but does nothing whatsoever to discuss the overall quality. It may be true that some of the best, most well-received films of the year never opened in theaters (or opened so small as to be negligible) but this doesn’t impinge on them: if anything, it just means that the most interesting things are still happening on the fringes and margins, just where they always have.

And that’s enough of that. Thanks, again, to any and all who’ve taken this journey with me during 2014. In order to be complete, I’ve listed all of the films that I watched in 2014 below: save for the bottom handful, which I haven’t written up yet, details reviews of all of these can be found at The VHS Graveyard, starting all the way back on New Years Eve, 2013. I managed to watch 343 films in 2014: let’s see if we can’t do better than that in 2015. Stay tuned as we resume our daily reviews and don’t forget: we could all use a stroll through the VHS Graveyard, from time to time.

All Films Watched in 2014

The Roost
Juan of the Dead
The Sapphires
Somebody Up There Likes Me
The Guilt Trip
Stitches
A Lonely Place to Die
The Tunnel
Drinking Buddies
Exiled
Man With a Movie Camera
April Fool’s Day
The Achievers
Friends With Kids
Redemption
L’Age D’or
Tiny Furniture
Journey to Planet X
Norwegian Ninja
Drew: The Man Behind the Poster
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
Messenger of Death
Freakonomics
Novocaine
The Northerners
Bounty Killer
Gallowwalker
Standup Guys
The Master
Funny Games (1997)
The Adventures of Tintin
The Hamiltons
The Butcher Boys
Amigo
Lovelace
Toad Road
This is the End
The Hidden Fortress
Big Trouble in Little China
Tabu
But I’m a Cheerleader
The Last Rites of Ransom Pride
Cutie and the Boxer
Stay Cool
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane
Happy People: A Year in the Taiga
Agora
Sharknado
The Square
Dirty Wars
Farewell to the King
Looper
The Rabbi’s Cat
The Naked City
Girl Walks Into a Bar
Star Trek IV
The Comedy
You’re Next
Curdled
The Girl Who Knew Too Much
Five Minutes of Heaven
The Iron Lady
Dark Touch
Blacula
The Castle
American Hustle
Blackenstein
One From the Heart
The Croods
Alois Nebel
Jacob’s Ladder
Black Moon
12 Years a Slave
The Hunt
Day of the Dead
Seven Psychopaths
Captain Phillips
Truck Turner
Radio Bikini
A Field in England
Walker
8 Million Ways to Die
To Be or Not To Be
Joe Gould’s Secret
Powwow Highway
The Butler
The Boys Next Door
Robot & Frank
Assault on Precinct 13
Two-Way Stretch
The African Queen
Cockneys vs Zombies
Dallas Buyers Club
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Blue Jasmine
Gravity
Nebraska
Hondo
Prisoners
20 Feet From Stardom
The Act of Killing
The Heat
We Are What We Are (2013)
All Is Lost
Love
Inside Llewyn Davis
Doghouse
Easy Rider
Bad Milo
Midnight Express
Mud
How to Lose Friends & Alienate People
Swashbuckler
Wishmaster
Signs of Life
The Station Agent
Lesser Prophets
The Haunting of Julia
Popatopolis
Red Obsession
The Last Days on Mars
Jobs
Insidious: Chapter 2
Frankenstein’s Army
Pacific Rim
Philomena
The City Dark
Street People
A Fantastic Fear of Everything
Don Jon
Wrong Cops
Odd Thomas
Breakfast with Curtis
All Things to All Men
Strictly Ballroom
Silent Running
Rapture-palooza
Entity
Twister (1989)
The United States of Leland
Loaded
As I Lay Dying
Plus One
Paranoia
Ghost Adventures
The Frozen Ground
100 Bloody Acres
Night of the Living Dead (1990)
Wish You Were Here
Short Term 12
Free Birds
The Moleman of Belmont Avenue
Swerve
The Source Family
The Final Cut
The Kitchen
The Incredible Melting Man
Contracted
Here Comes the Devil
Big Bad Wolves
A Fistful of Dollars
For a Few Dollars More
Nightmare City
Buck Wild
Death Wish
Death Wish 3
Son of a Lion
The Guard Post
Night of the Creeps
Maximum Overdrive
Wake in Fright
The Gray
Wishmaster 2
Wishmaster 3
Wishmaster 4
Godzilla vs Mothra
Godzilla vs Monster Zero
Candyman
Candyman 2: Farewell to the Flesh
Dragonslayer
The Birth of the Living Dead
Nightmare Factory
Young Detective Dee: Rise of the Sea Dragon
The Last Rites of Joe May
Good Guys Wear Black
The Octagon
El Dorado
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence
Doomsday Book
Someone Marry Barry
Escape From Tomorrow
Awful Nice
Almost Human
Grand Piano
Wolf Creek 2
Sanctum
The Blair Witch Project
The Art of the Steal
Vampires
After the Dark
The Conspiracy
Lawless
Devil’s Knot
Banshee Chapter
Cold Feet
Black Rock
No God, No Master
Hatchet 3
Cold Sweat
Homefront
Byzantium
13 Sins
Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa
The Experiment
The Last Days
The Dark Half
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
Lizzie Borden Took an Axe
Dead Before Dawn
All Cheerleaders Die
Better Mus’ Come
HairBrained
Out of the Furnace
Goodbye World
The Nut Job
Cujo
Sweet Evil
Blue Ruin
Go For Sisters
Somewhere
Filth
The Sacrament
Whitewash
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
Halloween
Halloween 2
Alien
Hellbenders
Some Guy Who Kills People
Invaders From Mars (1986)
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
The World’s End
Friday the 13th (1980)
The Town That Dreaded Sundown
Under the Skin
Stoker
Chillerama
Stage Fright
Only Lovers Left Alive
Kiss of the Damned
The Last Winter
The Thing
Blood Glacier
Dead Alive
Undead
Visitors
Dog Soldiers
The Descent
Witching and Bitching
Suspiria
Mama
The Haunting
Dead Silence
Dead Birds
The Burrowers
House of 1000 Corpses
The Devil’s Rejects
The Den
Antisocial
Thale
Kill Zombie!
The Returned
Botched
Inbred
Outpost
Outpost: Black Sun
Omnivoros
Ravenous
Cube
Haunter
Splice
Under the Bed
The Monster Squad
Mr. Jones
Static
Shivers
The Cottage
No One Lives
Infestation
Big Ass Spider!
Beneath
Land of the Dead
Diary of the Dead
All Hallows’ Eve
Trick ‘r Treat
Oculus
The Grand Budapest Hotel
The Oranges
Locke
Dom Hemingway
The Oxford Murders
In A World…
Cuban Fury
Snowman’s Land
Snowpiercer
The One I Love
Arachnophobia
Knights of Badassdom
The Final Member
Mockingbird
The Guard
The Double
Rhymes For Young Ghouls
Alien Abduction
Willow Creek
Cold in July
Moebius
The Damned
We Are The Best!
The Taking of Deborah Logan
Borgman
Mercy
Jodorowsky’s Dune
Sabotage
The Missing Picture
The Interview
Fading Gigolo
Ida
Torment
Enemy
Doc of the Dead
Ragnarok
Bad Johnson
The Babadook
Stretch
The Lady in Number 6
Nymphomaniac Parts 1 & 2: Director’s Cut
God’s Pocket
Coherence
ABCs of Death 2
Housebound
Calvary

The Year in Review: The Best Films of 2014 (Part Two)

08 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by phillipkaragas in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

2014, Best of 2014, Borgman, Calvary, cinema, favorite films, film reviews, films, Grand Piano, Housebound, Jodorowsky's Dune, Movies, Nymphomaniac, Obvious Child, Rhymes For Young Ghouls, Under the Skin, Wrong Cops, year in review, year-end lists

497606412_640

We began with ten of my picks for the best films of 2014 and will now end with the other ten: proving how fluid these types of lists are for me, I’ve already whittled one film off in order to make the list an even twenty…life, as we know, is a constant state of flux. As with the first half, none of these are specifically ranked, with the exception of the final listing. Let’s do this.

– – –

The Best Films of 2014 (cont.)

– – –

Borgman

borgman-poster01

Coming across as a particularly cold combination of Michael Haneke’s misanthropic odes to the futility of modern life (particularly Funny Games) and the bizarrely Dadaist films of Greek eccentric Yorgos Lanthimos, Dutch genius Alex van Warmerdam’s newest film, Borgman, is a weird, creepy little marvel that almost defies description. A mysterious vagrant insinuates himself into a well-to-do family’s life, ala Down and Out in Beverly Hills, and ends up destroying them from the inside-out. The elevator pitch doesn’t sound particularly odd but Warmerdam isn’t the kind of filmmaker who does anything by the book: blackly comic, surreal, oppressive, nightmarish and oddly fairy-tale-like, Borgman worms its way into your brain and latches on like a pit bull with lockjaw.

– – –

Grand Piano

grandpiano

The absolute closest thing to Hitchcock since the Master of Suspense shuffled off this mortal coil (put your hand down, DePalma), Eugenio Miro’s relentless Grand Piano was one of the biggest surprises in recent memory. The setup is so simple that it seems impossible to carry across a full-length film: a retired concert pianist reemerges to play a concerto on his dead mentor’s prize piano, only to receive messages from a mysterious person during the packed performance that indicate he’ll be shot dead if he stops playing or makes a mistake. From this intriguing, if limited premise, Miro shoots for the moon and winds up somewhere in a far, undiscovered galaxy. Elijah Wood, who’s quickly becoming one of my favorite genre actors, is perfect as the pianist but the real star of the film is Miro’s flawless direction and a ridiculously air-tight script by Damien Chazelle. Grand Piano is full of so many amazing setpieces and thrilling scenes that I was, literally, on the edge of my seat for the entire film: one of the most nail-biting moments I witnessed all year involves nothing more than sheet music and a cell phone and it’s astounding. The fact that this film didn’t open huge and play to massive audiences is one of the best indications that the future of cinema lies in the margins, with the truly unique outsiders, rather than anything that plays the multiplexes.

– – –

Rhymes For Young Ghouls

rhymes-for-young-ghouls-poster

A coming-of-age film…a period piece about life on Canadian Indian reservations during the ’70s…a heist film…a family drama…a revenge drama…Rhymes for Young Ghouls is all of these things and so much more. Anchored by the amazing performance of Kawennáhere Devery Jacobs as the hard-nosed, resilient and, frankly, awesome Aila, writer-director Jeff Barnaby’s feature-length debut is nothing short of inspirational. I was never less than enthralled by anything that happened in the film (the brief animated segment, by itself, is one of the coolest cinematic moments of the year) and was frequently caught with a giant lump in my throat: when Rhymes For Young Ghouls is firing on all cylinders, there’s an epic quality to the filmmaking that actually echoes Scorsese. I went into Rhymes for Young Ghouls knowing nothing about the film whatsoever and left with my head on backwards. The fact that I really haven’t seen the film mentioned anywhere is testament to the fact that some awfully amazing gems seem to be falling through the cracks lately. An utterly vital, essential debut.

– – –

Under the Skin

Calvary

Lyrical, lush, atmospheric and experimental, Jonathan Glazer’s Under the Skin was probably one of the most beautiful films I watched all year. There’s something almost hypnotic about the way Glazer blends eerie surrealism with the quiet, hushed tone of the film. Johansson is actually perfect as the mysterious, other-worldly woman who picks up guys on the nighttime streets of Glasgow and then…well, what, exactly? One of the supreme joys of Under the Skin is how little Glazer holds viewers’ hands: there’s never an “info dump,” no tedious flashbacks to over-explain twists and precious little dialogue to intrude on the near suffocating stillness. When the film jets off into the unknown, as in the “assimilation” scenes, Glazer’s film stakes out territory that puts it in the company of pioneers like 2001, albeit on a much smaller scale. Under the Skin is the kind of film that cinephiles can (and should) think about and digest for years to come.

– – –

Housebound

HouseBound_Poster_11_Alt2

As my pick for the best horror film of 2014, Housebound still wasn’t a shoe-in for my overall list: as I mentioned elsewhere, I used very different criteria to determine the “horror” vs “overall” lists and many films that made my horror list didn’t carry across to the other. Housebound did for a simple reason: it’s not only the best horror film of 2014, it’s one of the best films of the year, period. Extremely well-balanced, with an expert mixture of humor and horror, I could see Housebound appealing to any and everyone, not just the horror-hounds in the audience. Morgana O’Reilly and Rima Te Wiata are outstanding as the mother-daughter ghost-hunting duo, giving us plenty to care about amidst the usual spooky high-jinks and haunted house tropes. To make it even better, O’Reilly’s Kylie Bucknell is an instantly iconic female ass-kicker, a strong-willed, take-no-shit woman who needs a white knight like she needs a hole in the head. When I wasn’t laughing, I was cheering: when I wasn’t on the edge of my seat, I was karate-kicking the ceiling fan. Housebound is an absolute blast to watch and is only writer-director Gerard Johnstone’s first film: I absolutely can’t wait for his next fifteen movies.

– – –

Jodorowsky’s Dune

Jodorowskys_Dune_poster_usa

So many films have been made since the advent of cinema, so many more than any of us will be able to see in a lifetime, that it seems a little strange to celebrate and discuss a movie that was never made. When the film is question is Alejandro Jodorowsky’s proposed adaptation of Dune, however, a film that was actually posited as a source of enlightenment for humanity and a way to help it achieve another level of spiritual evolution…well, it seems like we could probably take a few minutes to reflect on that, dontcha think? There was nothing conventional about Jodorowsky’s plans for Dune whatsoever: from casting Salvador Dali as the Emperor of Space to commissioning Pink Floyd to provide the music for one of the planets (not for the entire film, mind you…just as a theme for one particular part) to utilizing one of the most famous graphic artists of the era as a storyboard artist, Jodorowsky followed his muse at every step. His only intention was to create pure art and enlighten humanity: compare and contrast that with our current glut of superhero films and it’s clear that Jodorowsky wouldn’t even fit into our modern era, let alone in his. Fascinating, inspirational and full of so many amazing stories and anecdotes that it almost becomes overwhelming, Jodorowsky’s Dune is anchored by the man himself, Alejandro Jodorowsky, 84-years-young at the time of filming and so much more alive and vital than most people a tenth of his age. More than anything, the amazing documentary is a testament to the notion that you should never stop reaching for the stars, even if your feet are firmly stuck on terra firma.

– – –

Nymphomaniac Vols 1 & 2

download

Sprawling, messy, over-the-top, frequently unpleasant and always impossible to look away from, auteur Lars von Trier’s epic-length ode to female sexuality (a staggering 5.5 hours in the director’s cut, which is definitely the way to go, if you’re going at all) is a stunner in every sense of the word. The film doesn’t always work and von Trier is up to all of his old provocateur antics here but it’s impossible to deny that Nymphomaniac is one of the most awe-inspiring films of the years. There’s a level of ambition here that’s daunting: at times, the film’s endless digressions, footnotes and asides begin to feel like a pornographic version of House of Leaves come to bold, colorful life. This will absolutely not be for everyone…hell, it probably won’t be for many people, to be honest: when the film is raw, it’s in-your-face raw and the frequent (real) sex can be a bit numbing after a while. There’s also the underlying question of whether von Trier actually has any business discussing female sexuality at all: it’s a valid concern, to be honest, and one that actually feels like it gets addressed, internally, as the film progresses, almost as if the writer-director is working out his own thoughts and beliefs as the story unfolds…it’s a complex issue and one that demands to be discussed at length and out loud. While I haven’t always seen eye-to-eye with von Trier cinematically (or personally, although that’s a discussion for another time and venue), there’s no denying that his last three films, Antichrist, Melancholia and Nymphomaniac, have been bold, visually stunning and thoroughly unique works of art. Love him or hate him as a person but ignore him at your own risk: for folks that can handle it, Nymphomaniac is nothing short of essential.

– – –

Calvary

download (1)

John Michael McDonagh’s debut, The Guard, was a massively fun, ridiculously engaging film that featured a whirlwind performance from Irish national treasure Brendan Gleeson at its center and had one of the freshest, tightest scripts around. For the followup, Calvary, McDonagh opts to stick with Gleeson and the results are nothing short of cinematic perfection. There’s an overlying air of regret and fatalism to this story about a happy-go-lucky, small-town Irish priest who’s told by an unknown man, during confession, that’s he’s to be killed at the end of the week as revenge for the Catholic Church’s child molestation scandal. As Gleeson’s Father James runs about the town, conducting his own unofficial investigation in order to discover the identity of his would-be assassin, he uncovers a hidden world of resentment, anger and hatred, much of it directed at the clergy. Unbelievably powerful and bleak, Calvary is an absolutely stunning film with a conclusion that punches you right in the face. In a lifetime filled with more amazing roles and performances than seems humanly possible, Gleeson, somehow, manages to top himself, once again. For my money, Calvary was probably the single best drama of the year, a purely old-fashioned and cinematic marvel that reminds us of the time when all you needed to flatten an audience was tremendous acting, a remarkable script and a filmmaker with the patience and vision to make it all happen. This is powerful, moving cinema as its very best.

– – –

Obvious Child

MV5BMTg0MDU4NjI1OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwOTY3NDc3MTE@._V1_SX640_SY720_

When it came time to put together my Best of 2014 list, I instantly knew that Gillian Robespierre’s debut, Obvious Child, was going to be there: the only real question was “top spot or lower.” While it didn’t go on to take the top honors, there was nothing easy about the decision at all…in fact, I’m still agonizing about it as I continue to type out this particular missive.

Into a year that seemed hellbent on declaring out-right war on women (threats of violence against female journalists, widespread denial of rape allegations, Stone Age legislative rulings regarding women’s health and reproductive rights) came Robespierre’s bittersweet Obvious Child, an honest-to-god abortion comedy (the only other one I can even think of is Citizen Ruth), a smart, funny, sweet honest and uncompromising film that was the furthest thing from a stereotypical rom-com, yet held enough of the DNA to still be identifiable as such. At the center of it all is stand-up comedian/voice actor Jenny Slate, in a role that should guarantee her status as a star: Slate is simply perfect in the film, displaying a range and depth that would be impressive on a “professional” actor, much less a stand-up comedian. Nothing about the movie is obvious (despite the title) and anyone expecting a typically Hallmark resolution will probably be pleasantly surprised: there’s too much honesty here for any of the characters to delude themselves as far as that goes. By turns hilarious, heartfelt and always authentic, Obvious Child was that rarest of finds in 2014: a film that I wished would just keep going on, into infinity. Here’s a little future forecast for all of you fine folks: Gillian Robespierre will be one of the world’s foremost filmmakers in a remarkably short amount of time, mark my words.

– – –

Nineteen films down, one to go. While everything that preceded this could be considered unranked (although Obvious Child would still be very near the top), my final selection is very definite: I saw this particular film all the way back in April of 2014 and it never left my head throughout the year. At times, scenes would just pop into my brain out of nowhere, as if my subconscious was happily rewatching the film, internally, without my express written consent. It’s a film that I can look at from end to end and find nothing worth complaining about, nothing that detracts from the overall massive awesomeness. When I look back at my absolute favorite films over the years, movies like The Good, The Bad and the Ugly, The Godfather, Goodfellas, 2001 and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, there’s a unity of vision to them, a sort of perfect totality of world building that makes them impossible to escape (for me, at least), similar to shiny, jangly things for a jackdaw. I may like quite a few films and probably love a few more than most people do but there’s a very fixed, specific list of films that I consider to absolute, stone-cold classics. It has nothing to do with age, notoriety, “hip-factor” (or lack thereof), indie vs studio or any such easy distinctions. When a film is an utter classic, a little voice goes off in my head and that’s pretty much it: I can give great reasons, rationales and critiques until the cows come home but it all comes down to that little internal guide, that quiet little voice that hasn’t steered me wrong in some 30-odd years of cinematic obsession. With all of that being said, my choice as the single best film of calendar year 2014 is…

– – –

1.

Wrong Cops

WrongCopsFullposterIFC590rls01a

In a year filled with such stunning, critic-proof films as The Grand Budapest Hotel, Under the Skin and Obvious Child, what right do I have to select this incredibly gonzo little oddity as the best of the best? Let me see if I can’t try to break it down a little, before we circle around to that whole “internal voice” thing. Right off the bat, French musician/film auteur Quentin Dupieux is one of the most unusual, singular and amazing filmmakers currently living: it’s absolutely no hyperbole to place him in the same impressive echelon as folks like Luis Bunuel, Alejandro Jodorowsky or David Lynch. For my money, what makes an auteur is a singularly unified vision, the kind of vision that can be instantly recognized from film to film without falling into the territory of slavish duplication. In particular, I think of filmmakers like Wes Anderson or Scorsese: their films may (for the most part) be very different from each other but there’s always the overriding notion of returning to a particular universe.

Beginning with his 2002 debut, Nonfilm, Dupieux has been quietly and confidently blowing minds for the following decade plus. The hallmark of a Dupieux film is an amazing synthesis of the absurd and comic with the dark and deranged: his third film, the astonishing Rubber, is about a sentient tire (as in, the kind that goes on the wheel of a car) that “wakes up” with the ability to blow things up with its mind, falls in love with a human woman and sets out on a mission of revenge, all while the film’s “audience” (ie: us) watches the proceedings from the sidelines. The followup, Wrong, concerns a mild-mannered nebbish who loses his dog and stumbles into a bizarre world of pet cults, psychic pooches, the evolution of mankind and more repeated insanity than a thousand Groundhog Days stacked end to end.

While Dupieux’s previous films were mind-blowing, unforgettable pieces of cinematic insanity in their own rights, Wrong Cops is like Dupieux decided to just take it all to the next level, cut out the safety net and just go for it. On the surface, there’s nothing about Wrong Cops that should work: the cast is full of comics, which doesn’t always guarantee the sturdiest acting; Marilyn Manson plays a nerdy teenager; the humor is crude, scatological, politically incorrect and often outrageous (one of the main characters is a happily married father who stars in violent, homosexual porn as a side gig); there’s a sense of absurdity that can be downright confounding and the film is in constant motion, so jittery and kinetic as to be the cinematic equivalent of a facial tic. No one in the film can remotely be considered a “good” (or even sympathetic character) and the notion that Dupieux is constantly winking at us is never far behind.

And yet…and yet, for all of this marvelous insanity, Wrong Cops works so astoundingly well that it almost makes me misty-eyed. Dupieux is such an assured master of the surreal and bizarre, ala Bunuel, that we trust him with the wheel, even though we have no idea where he’s driving. Bits that seem like throw-away jokes (one of my favorites being the grievously wounded fellow who’s dragged all the way to a record exec’s office just so he can weigh in on whether a particular track is “cool” or not) all pay off, in the long run, and everything in this nonsensical universe eventually makes sense, even if it’s not in any conventional sense of the term. More than any film this year, Wrong Cops is a film that boldly says “Trust me: I know what I’m doing” and then goes on to prove that fact.

While the surreal filmmaking and script are sheer perfection, this would all collapse like a bad souffle if there weren’t such a rock-solid, amazing ensemble to hold it all together. The incredibly game cast, while includes Mark Burnham, Eric Wareheim, Eric Judor, Ray Wise, Steve Little and Arden Myrin, give it their all: when everyone involved seems this invested, it’s impossible not to get swept up in the madness. Hell, even Marilyn Manson puts his performance square between the goal posts: his scenes with Mark Burnham are a perfect combination of creepy, weird and sweet and pretty much form the bedrock of the film (the movie is actually an expansion of a short that primarily featured that relationship). Combine this with a truly awesome, trippy soundtrack, courtesy of good ol’ Dupieux (he’s also a famous French electro-artist who performs and records under the name Mr. Oizo) and Wrong Cops folds you up in its crazy, multi-colored, batshit world and never lets you go.

There were many films this year that I respected and plenty of films that I loved. Wrong Cops, however, was one of the few films that I actually felt like I “needed.” As someone who’s addicted to outsider fare like Taxidermia, Dogtooth and the like, I often find it incredibly difficult to get my “fix”: I might go years between truly astounding finds and, sometimes, it can feel a little like wandering through a desert in search of an oasis. Ever since I discovered Dupieux, however, I can finally get that jolt that I need so badly, on a semi-regular basis: in many ways, Dupieux is a filmmaker that seems to be making films just for me…how the hell could I not consider that the greatest thing ever?

Will Wrong Cops have any relevance to non-acolytes of the Church of Quentin? If you appreciate bold, uncompromising, exquisitely made films with a surreal bent and zero desire to coddle, there is no way you won’t completely fall in love with Dupieux and his filmography. For my money, one of the single most important qualities for a true lover of film to have is an open mind: you will not and cannot experience anything new and wonderful unless you’re willing to step outside your comfort zone and take that leap of faith. When it all comes together, like some sort of cosmic plan, the results can be life-affirming.

For all of these reasons and so many more, Quentin Dupieux’s Wrong Cops is my selection as the single best film of 2014, topping a crowded field and nineteen other contenders.

Stay tuned for the final wrap-up on 2014 as we prepare to return to our regularly scheduled broadcast here on The VHS Graveyard. It’s been a long journey but we’re finally home.

The Year in Review: The Best Films of 2014 (Part One)

07 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by phillipkaragas in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

2014, A Field in England, Alan Partridge, best films of 2014, cinema, Enemy, favorite films, film reviews, films, Go For Sisters, Grand Budapest Hotel, Movies, Only Lovers Left Alive, personal opinions, The Babadook, The Grand Budapest Hotel, The One I Love, We Are the Best!, Witching and Bitching, year in review

497606412_640

And now, at long last, we get to the final stretch of the race: my selections for the Best Films of 2014. I’ve already listed my favorite horror films of the year but this is the overall list: everything gets thrown into the same pot, regardless of genre. Astute readers will definitely notice a little overlap with the horror list but I attempted to use two very different sets of criteria for judging the films: what may make a film one of the best horror movies of the year won’t necessarily make it one of the best overall films of the year and vice versa.

This was an especially difficult list to make this year for one main reason: I saw an awful lot of good-to-great films in 2014. I didn’t get a chance to see a lot of the “obvious” choices for Best of the Year, such as Nightcrawler or Boyhood, but I did manage to see most of the underdogs and “dark horses,” so to speak. None of this, of course, is by way of saying that my choices are any more valid than the mainstream: we just have slightly different priorities, that’s all.

For me, I define a truly great picture in a very specific way: it really has to move me. It can make me mad as hell, so giddy I’m karate-kicking the wall or so heart-broken that I want to die…but it damn well better make me feel something more than just entertained. Lots of films are entertaining (there are even parts of Sharknado that are entertaining, surprisingly enough) but that’s not quite good enough to make that kind of impression on me. After whittling the 350+ films I watched last year down to a shortlist of the very best 2014 titles, I’ve managed to whittle that down even further to my 21 favorite films of the year. Unlike the horror list, this won’t be in any particular order, save the top slot: if I thought whittling the list down to 20 was impossible (it was), then ranking them seems about as likely as flapping my arms and achieving liftoff.

With no further ado, I now present the first half of my Best of 2014 list. Make sure your trays are in the upright position, fasten your belts and prepare for take-off.

The Twenty-One Best Films of 2014

– – –

The Grand Budapest Hotel

grand_budapest_hotel

Is The Grand Budapest Hotel Wes Anderson’s “ultimate” film? Despite my never-ending love of and loyalty to Rushmore, I might need to concede this point. Everything about the film speaks to some aspect of Anderson’s back catalog: the fascination with miniatures; the blink-and-you-miss-’em cameos; the “missing father” dynamic that’s at the heart of nearly all his films; the immaculately fashioned production design; the gorgeous cinematography; the “iron fist in a velvet glove” repartee; the intentionally screwy timeline…it’s all here. Holding the whole production together, however, are two of the best performances of the entire year: Ralph Fiennes absolutely owns the film as the impossibly cool, suave M. Gustave but he’s very nearly upstaged by young Tony Revolori as the eternally loyal lobby boy, Zero. There’s a real sense of joy and wonder to the film, along with the requisite Andersonian sense of tragic romance and a supremely dark edge, as well: there’s a real sense of menace and violence to The Grand Budapest that’s strangely missing from most of Anderson’s other films. Plus, you get Willem Dafoe in one of his funnest roles in years. The Grand Budapest Hotel brings Anderson back to the fore in a big way.

– – –

Only Lovers Left Alive

only_lovers_left_alive_ver3_xxlg

As a rule, I’m not the biggest vampire fan in the world but leave it to Jarmusch to force me to include a vampire flick on my Best of Year list. Only Lovers Left Alive is lush, atmospheric and hazy, the perfect complement to the Bohemian bloodsuckers at its center. There’s something swooningly romantic about the relationship between Adam and Eve, a romance that’s spanned across continents and centuries. Set against the decaying backdrop of modern-day Detroit, Jarmusch spins his usual web and everything about the film is as immaculate as miniature diorama: extra points for John Hurt’s delightful performance as the rakish Christopher Marlowe, Eve’s “shoulder to cry on” since the time of Shakespeare. This isn’t just one of the best films of the year: it’s one of the best films in Jarmusch’s long, distinguished career.

– – –

We Are the Best!

download

Perfectly capturing the frustrations, joys and miseries of being young and on the fringes of “polite” society, We Are the Best! is, without a doubt, one of the most joyful, exuberant films I saw all year. There’s something undeniably kickass about watching the trio of young girls at the center of the film slowly gain confidence, leading up to the joyful middle-finger attitude that sends the whole thing off on a happy note. Were this just a peppy story, it wouldn’t have stuck the landing as one of the best of the year: writer-director Lukas Moodysson guides everything with an assured hand, however, giving the proceedings just enough bite to give them weight. The scene where Hedvig blows away the chauvinistic music teachers with her display of guitar pyrotechnics may be one of my favorites of the whole year: if you don’t stand and cheer, you probably have coal instead of a heart.

– – –

Go For Sisters

Go-For-Sisters-poster-2

I’ve followed legendary writer-director John Sayles career since I was a kid: Piranha (his first script) was one of my favorite movies, growing up, and I can still remember the first time I saw The Brother From Another Planet. Quite frankly, there’s no one else out there quite like Sayles and there never will be: with an almost uncanny knack for vivid characters and the ability to twist even the most straight-forward situation into a knot, Sayles is truly one of the keystones of “classic” indie film, right along with Jarmusch and Soderbergh. Go For Sisters is Sayles’ second home-run in a row, after the stellar Amigo (2010), and may be one of his best, most fun and most accomplished films yet. This time around, he gets phenomenal performances from LisaGay Hamilton and Yolonda Ross as former best friends who end up on opposite sides of the law, yet must rekindle their friendship in order to help Hamilton find her missing son. Edward James Olmos is reliably excellent as the former lawman-turned-private eye but the entire film, part and parcel, belongs to Hamilton and Ross: if there was any justice in this world, they’d both get nominated for Oscars.

– – –

A Field in England

A FIELD IN ENGLAND POSTER A3-1

Trippy, surreal, bizarre and intense, Ben Wheatley’s amazing A Field in England is the closest a film has brought me to insanity since the first time I watched Jodorowsky’s Holy Mountain…umm…”altered,” shall we say.  For most of its runtime, the film is a strange little oddity about deserters during the British Civil War of the 1700s who stumble upon a strange, featureless and unbelievably foreboding field in the middle of nowhere. At a certain point, however, it’s like Wheatley cracks open the egg of knowledge right in your face, splattering your brain pan with so much terrifying insanity that it makes you physically ill. For one of the few times in my entire life, I sat staring at the screen, my mouth hanging wide, drooling everywhere: it’s no lie to say that, for one brief moment, I was standing on the downward slope of sanity, fully prepared to slide off into the abyss. Hyperbole? Maybe but we can talk after the film blows your head off and puts it back upside-down. This, friends and neighbors, is truly experimental cinema at its very best.

– – –

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa

alanpartridge

I’m going to assume that the sound I hear is all of the spit-takes out there, so I’ll give you all a moment to compose yourselves…ready? Good. How, exactly, did the Steve Coogan vehicle Alan Partridge end up on my Best of list? Isn’t this just another dumb big-screen version of another TV show/radio show/Broadway play/public access show/dinner theater-type thingamabob? Maybe yes, maybe no: I’ll admit to knowing nothing whatsoever about the character until I sat down to watch the film, so that certainly wasn’t the draw for me. Here’s what I can say, however: Alan Partridge is, without a doubt, the funniest film I saw in 2014, hands-down. In fact, I laughed so hard at the film that I was frequently crying, when I wasn’t almost falling out of my chair. Ladies and gentlemen: I haven’t laughed that hard in…well, I honestly can’t remember. Everything about the film is hilarious and quote-worthy: from the dream sequence involving a mob of Alans to the awesome dialogue to some of the very best sight gags I’ve ever seen, Alan Partridge is a film that keeps raising the comedy bar, yet effortlessly sails over it every time. Colm Meaney is marvelous as Alan’s put-upon and marginalized co-worker but Steve Coogan is an absolute god as the titular moron. Everything about this film is a complete winner: I’d be shocked if this isn’t considered a cult classic within the next decade or so…you can bet your forensic trousers on it!

– – –

The Babadook

BABADOOK-POSTER

In a year that seemed to split horror fans and critics in a million different directions, there was one thing that almost everyone could agree on: Jennifer Kent’s amazing debut film, The Babadook, was easily one of the highlights. Genuinely scary and with an air of originality missing from much popular horror fare, this Australian tale of a troubled mother and son facing down pure evil is old-fashioned horror given a bright, shiny new coat. If The Babadook were only a full-throttle horror flick, however, it never would have made it past my Best of Horror list. Instead, Kent’s film is just as much about the trials and tortures that parents must deal with when raising children, especially if said children are as immensely troubled as young Samuel is. When the film lets loose, it’s almost too raw to watch: the scenes where the mother tells her young son how much she hates him would be utterly horrifying, with or without the eerie specter of Mr. Babadook hanging over everything.

– – –

Enemy

ENEMY_900x1325

The first thing you’ll notice about Denis Villeneuve’s Enemy is the sickly, jaundice-yellow hue that seems to infect every frame of the film like some sort of creeping mold, followed by the oppressively thick atmosphere of dread that hangs over everything like a pall. After that, you might notice how many truly odd things happen in the margins of the frame and how little explanation we get for anything that happens. Later on, you might notice how this seemingly simple tale of a man running across his doppelgänger keeps turning and folding over on itself, like a pulsating amoeba cleaving itself in two. By the time you get to the truly stunning finale, an absolutely terrifying revelation that’s the equivalent of waking from a dream and plunging into a nightmare, one thing should be clear beyond all else: Villeneuve’s film is the perfect horror tonic for our era, a surreal dreamscape where the rat race, our eternal search for immortality and our inability to resist flipping over as many rocks as we can results in our complete and utter destruction. Absolutely unforgettable, Enemy is, without a doubt, one of the finest films to come from a rather fine year.

– – –

Witching & Bitching

las_brujas0

Alex de la Iglesia’s newest film, Witching & Bitching, opens with a gold heist that involves body-painted street performers (Silver Jesus for the win!) and climaxes with a pitched battle against a towering, blind fertility goddess. Stuffed between these two poles we get plenty of snarky “battle of the sexes” commentary (much of it quite politically incorrect, shall we say), some jaw-dropping practical effects, a sense of humor that can best be described as “out there” (one of the film’s best, most outrageous scenes involves someone hiding inside a toilet) and a romantic angle that starts as a joke and finishes in just about the sweetest way possible. This is a big, loud horror-comedy-fantasy that isn’t afraid to shoot for Peter Jackson by way of Steven Spielberg territory, while still manages to (usually) keep at least one foot anchored on solid ground. Even for a career as varied and delightful as de la Iglesia’s, Witching & Bitching is one varied, delightful film.

– – –

The One I Love

download

Without a doubt, one of the biggest, best surprises of the entire year, Charlie McDowell’s extraordinary The One I Love is that most impossible of things: an intelligent, trippy, doppelganger-themed love story that manages to shatter conventions left and right. The whole film is grounded by one of my favorite duos of the year, Mark Duplass and Elisabeth Moss: the two are so perfect as the imperfect couple looking to “fix” their broken marriage by way of shrink Ted Danson’s dubious “immersion” therapy that they almost overshadow the rest of the film. Note that I say “almost,” however, since The One I Love has a way of burrowing under your skin and taking root. At times laugh-out-loud funny, at times sinister, occasionally baffling and always brilliant, this was one of the freshest, most original films I saw all year. I know I’ve said this before but in a much weaker year, The One I Love would be a tough act to follow.

– – –

And there we have it: the first half of my Best Films of 2014, in random order. Tune in later as we finish off with the other eleven, including my pick for the very best film of 2014. What will take it all? Who will be left in the dust? Who will survive and what will be left of them? Stay tuned, loyal readers…stay tuned.

The Year in Review: The Best Films of 2014 (The Runner-Ups)

06 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by phillipkaragas in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

2014, Best of 2014, cinema, favorite films, film reviews, films, Movies, personal opinions, runner-ups, year in review

497606412_640

In order to build a little suspense for the big reveal (as well as do a little 2014 house-cleaning), I decided to lead off with my runner-ups for Best Films of 2014. As I’ve stated elsewhere, I found 2014 to be a ridiculously rich year for film, especially if one were willing to color outside of the margins. If you didn’t find at least a couple exceptional movies last year…well, pardner…I reckon you just weren’t looking.

Since I had so many choices this year (I ended up watching 171 films that qualify as 2014 releases), there was lots and lots to sort through. Although my Best of Horror list was difficult, the Overall Best list has been particularly vexing. Faithful readers will notice some crossover with my horror list, obviously, although not as much as one might think: there should be a few surprises here, as well. Since I’ve already discussed some of the horror ones earlier, I’ll just list those but expect to read a word or two (or three) on the other runner-ups.

I feel a bit like a broken record but let’s go ahead and let the needle skip one more time: in a much worse year, any or all of the runner-ups would have assumed prime spots on my list. Unlike particularly fallow years in the past, I haven’t included anything on here that was just “okay,” “serviceable” or “meh”: I may not love all of the runner-ups but, at the very least, I respect the hell outta them. With that, I present the runner-ups for Best Films of 2014, in no particular ranking order.

Runner-Ups

Moebius — No dialogue, intense sexual violence and raw nerve family dynamics: fun for all ages! Or not, as it turns out, since Korean auteur Kim Ki-duk’s “happy’ tale about the destructive force of infidelity on a family is one of the most unpleasant films I saw all year. It’s also brilliantly made and should be required viewing for anyone interested in the dynamics of film: just don’t expect to walk out with anything resembling a smile on your face.

Someone Marry Barry — I have kind of a man-crush on Tyler Labine and I’m absolutely not ashamed to admit it. As with my concurrent crushes on Ron Perlman, Michael Smiley and Donal Logue, I’ll watch anything and everything that Labine is in: I think he has nearly perfect comic timing and a pretty impressive range. That being said, Someone Marry Barry is a pretty great film, with or without Mr. Labine. The ensemble cast is perfectly in-tune, the comedy is crude but allows for genuine warmth and there’s a really nice central message about the importance of loving people for who they are. Did I mention that it’s really, really funny? Cuz it’s that, too.

Why Don’t You Play in Hell? — Shion Sono’s gonzo Yakuza-as-filmmakers action-comedy is a barrel of fun from start to finish but not quite the all-out blast that it frequently promises to become. When the film is good, it’s almost legendary (the scene where young Mitsuko surfs on a giant wave of blood is absolutely unforgettable) but it too often becomes repetitive and seems a little aimless. Still, I must admit to loving the indie filmmaker angle and there’s something rather sweet about a film that seems to be equally influenced by Cinema Paradiso and blood-spattered Japanese gore comedies.

The Interview — Forget the hype, the endless press, the threats, the grandstanding, the chest-beatin’ and the Bible-thumpin’: is Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen’s “little film that could” actually any good? As a matter of fact, it’s quite good and this is coming from someone who is absolutely not an acolyte of the Church of Rog-aco. In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that it’s the best comedy the collective group has ever made, including Pineapple Express and This is the End. I might stand alone but I’ll proudly state that the epic “Firework” finale is, without a doubt, one of the most badass cinematic moments my tired, old brain had the pleasure of witnessing all year: the film that leads up to it ain’t half bad, either.

LFO: The Movie — This was such a head-trip that I found myself thinking about it for days afterward…always a good sign. The bizarre Swedish film is initially so dense that I found myself completely, hopelessly lost: once it settles down into a more approachable tale about one weirdo’s ability to control people with a particular sound frequency, it sets the controls for the heart of the sun and never looks back. There’s nothing sympathetic or nice about our hapless lead, whatsoever, which makes LFO the kind of moral no-mans-land that might give some folks qualms. If the final five minutes don’t slap you upside the head, however, you probably weren’t paying attention.

The Missing Picture — Although Rithy Panh’s documentary was nominated for an Oscar last year, I only had the opportunity to see it this year and wow…talk about a gut-punch. Centered around the Khmer Rouge and their brutal massacre of innocent people in Cambodia during the ’70s, Panh uses a revolutionary technique where he crafts clay figures and uses these to re-enact both pre-and post-revolution life in a world that would become a living hell for him. Raw, painful and yet staggeringly beautiful and fanciful, at times, The Missing Picture is one of those films that demands to seen by as many people as possible.

I Am Divine — As a lifelong fan of both John Waters and Divine, this humble little doc was like manna from heaven. Full of great stories, interviews, insights and more than a few tearjerking moments, I Am Divine is a loving tribute to one of the most unique, beloved performers of our time.

The Final Member — A documentary about the world’s only penis museum could have gone several different ways (I swear that’s not a joke) but The Final Member ends up being endlessly surprising. Ostensibly about the quest to find and procure the first human donation to the collection, Jonah Bekhor and Zach Math’s fascinating film is actually about the human need for fame and how people will do any number of bizarre things to ensure that their name lives on long after they do. Probably not for everyone but quite fun for those with a bit of an open mind.

Whitewash — One of the most surprising films I saw all year and one that almost made it onto the official list. The premise is simple: Thomas Haden Church plays a snowplow operator who ends up stranded in the woods after a night of drunken debauchery that may or may not have involved running someone over with said snowplow. In reality, the film is nothing more than an opportunity for Church to stretch some massive acting muscles and becomes, essentially, a one-man show. You might think there’s nothing riveting about spending 90 minutes with some guy as he talks to himself in the woods but you would be dead wrong. As far as I’m concerned, this was the film that Locke was trying (and failed) to be.

Ida — Another film that almost made it onto the Best of list, Ida is a black-and-white throwback to the days when indie films all looked to Cassavetes and Jarmusch for inspiration and the visual image was as important, if not more so, than the spoken word. Ida is a beautiful, lyrical and unrelentingly sad film about a young Polish nun-initiate’s discovery of her true heritage amid the terrible legacy of the Nazis. This is another film for actual fans of the medium, filled with gorgeous cinematography, a moody, measured pace and some rock-solid acting from Agata Trzebuchowska and Agata Kulesza as the young nun and world-weary, booze-guzzling aunt Wanda. Purposefully old-fashioned and all the better for it.

Edge of Tomorrow — I’ve got nothing against Tom Cruise, the actor, on principle: the problem is that he so rarely makes films that I consider “must-sees.” From the outset, Edge of Tomorrow seems like it’ll be just another noisy, cluttered, sci-fi action film, something to give the punters a reason to drop major cash at an IMAX on Christmas Day. Along the way, however, something strange happens: Swingers’ director Doug Liman’s sleek, shiny film somehow becomes smarter, funnier and meaner than it should be. By the midpoint, it no longer feels like a by-the-numbers tentpole flick and begins to resemble something truly strange and, to be honest, kind of wonderful. Edge of Tomorrow was one of the few films that I regretted not seeing in a theater: that probably goes a long way towards describing my reaction to it.

The Art of the Steal — Another sleeper that should have been just another “direct to streaming” B-movie but ended up being so much more. Kurt Russell is fantastic as the aging stunt-driver-turned-criminal, Matt Dillon is quite marvelous as his ultra-sleazy step-brother and Jay Baruchel is a hoot as Russell’s always-faithful best buddy/whipping boy. The film is endless inventive, constantly funny and features a truly genius heist at its center. When I first started the film, it was just supposed to be a time-killer: minutes in, I was hopelessly hooked and never looked back. Easily one of the most fun movies I saw in 2014.

Blue Ruin — This almost ended up on my horror list but I decided to go purer with the definition this time around. At its heart, Blue Ruin is a sorrowful, uncompromising look at the terrible wages of revenge and how a man can be turned into a shell when all of the love in him has been scorched by hate. For my money, this was a much more effective, powerful film than the similar Cold in July, with a stunning lead performance from Macon Blair.

Ragnarok — This fun, Norwegian fantasy reminded me of prime, ’80s-era Spielberg and was a real blast: an archaeologist goes searching for a lost Viking ship and ends up finding something a whole lot scalier. In some ways, this is a companion piece to Troll Hunter and should be a must-see for anyone who bemoans the good ol’ days of family oriented fantasy adventure flicks, ala The Goonies.

Force Majeure — Yet another film that narrowly missed the official rankings. This flinty, sly little Swedish films deals with the fall-out from one husband/father’s unbelievably selfish act and the way it slowly tears his family in two. Full of lots of intricate details (the production design, in particular, is superb) and strong performances, Force Majeure takes aim at masculinity, fidelity, the institute of marriage and ski vacations, in general. Difficult to “love,” Force Majeure is incredibly easy to respect.

Child of God — I saw James Franco’s adaptation of As I Lay Dying and thought it was decent enough, if severely flawed in several key areas. That being said, it’s always refreshing to see a modern star who would rather adapt the classics than continue dipping from the same remake/sequel well. This time around, Franco turns to the world of Cormac McCarthy and the results are quite a bit more impressive. There’s nothing particularly pleasant about this story of one reclusive loner’s devolution into necrophilia and murder but there’s also precious little wrong with it: in particular, Scott Haze is a revelation as the animalistic Lester Ballard, turning in the kind of performance that should get him short-listed for every acting trophy in the book. When Scott is giving it his all, snot streaming from his face in thick ropes, saliva spewing everywhere, his entire body shaking and convulsing as if he’s about to explode…well, let’s just say that it doesn’t feel entirely like acting and leave it at that.

Haunter — At first, Vincenzo Natali’s Haunter seems like another in a long line of those “are they or are they not ghosts” films and it is, to a point, but it’s also about a hundred other things, all of which we gradually see as the film continues to unravel its myriad surprises. Just when the plot seems to be heading in a fairly standard, linear direction, Natali throws in a crazy corkscrew pitch and shakes the whole thing up. If the definition of a “sleeper” is a modest little film that surprises us by being unexpectedly great, well, look no further, my friends.

Dom Hemingway — There’s a lot to love about Dom Hemingway but none of it would be possible without Jude Law’s flat-out amazing central performance. Dom is a real shithead, a loud-mouth, crass, egotistical womanizer with anger issues and a constant need to blow his comfortable world to smithereens. Thanks to Law, he’s also ridiculously magnetic and impossible to tear your eyes away from. By the conclusion, you still might not agree with some of what he’s done (or any of it, for that matter) but I’ll be damned if you don’t kinda like the guy, anyway.

Big Bad Wolves — The most surprising thing about this Israeli film about a father enacting “justice” on a suspected child-killer, with the unwitting help of a dour police detective, is how flat-out funny it is. Yes, it’s about a child killer and yes, the violence punts straight into the end zone but it’s often laugh-out-loud funny, which is a tactic as effective as it is surprising. Despite this rampant sense of humor, Big Bad Wolves is just as often haunting and horrifying. Compare this to Denis Villeneuve’s nearly identical (minus the humor) Prisoners and it’s easy to see which film comes out on top.

Snowpiercer — I really liked, but didn’t love, Bong Joon-ho’s dystopic train-ride flick. Coming off as a spiritual descendent of Terry Gilliam’s ultra-grimey near-future flicks, Snowpiercer is full of fantastic setpieces and features a pair of intensely spirited performances in the person of Tilda Swinton (can we just deify her already and get it over with?) and Ed Harris (despite his relative lack of screentime). I never fully bought Chris Evans as the rebel leader, however, and too many of the film’s beats echoed similar dystopic films. Despite that, however, Joon-ho’s film is a massively entertaining thrill ride and exactly the type of action film we need more of these days. Extra points for the inherently ironic discussion of global warming and pollution that flows through every aspect of the film like a hidden, underground river.

Stoker — For his English-language debut, Korean auteur Park Chan-wook gifted us with the bizarre, surreal and eminently sensual “family drama” Stoker: should we have expected anything different from the genius behind Oldboy and Sympathy For Lady Vengeance? The entire cast is marvelous but the main trio of Nicole Kidman, Mia Wasikowska and Matthew Goode are nearly flawless. While the film never gripped me as much as Chan-wook’s Korean movies, it’s still an incredibly mature, evocative and interesting little examination of madness and obsession.

ABCs of Death 2 — For this and the others below, please refer to the Best Horror Films of 2014.

Starry Eyes

Plus One

Hellbenders

Oculus

Here Comes the Devil

Toad Road

And there we have it: all of the 2014 films that I considered runner-ups to the best films of the year. Coming up…the main event. Stay tuned.

The Year in Review: The Best Horror Films of 2014 (Part Two)

05 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by phillipkaragas in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

2014, Best Horror Films, Best of 2014, cinema, favorite films, film reviews, films, horror, horror movies, Movies, personal opinions

497606412_640

In the previous installment, we took a look at numbers 11-6 of my Best Horror Films of 2014 list. This time around, we’ll take a look at the top five, along with the batch of runner-ups that could very well have found themselves in the ranks, under slightly different circumstances.

5.

The Babadook

BABADOOK-POSTER

The very fact that Jennifer Kent’s remarkable, ridiculously self-assured debut feature The Babadook ended up at Number 5 on my list instead of closer to the top is pure testament to the fact that horror in 2014 was healthier than ever. Everything about this film radiates class: an original story with a truly scary, unique villain, raw nerve acting and an intelligent focus on family-oriented horror that you just don’t get enough of, The Babadook is a real doozy. Truth be told, I loved pretty much everything about the film, bar some minor quibbles. Ask me how this film ranks tomorrow and you might get a very different answer.

4.

Enemy

ENEMY_900x1325

Fun fact: I didn’t love Denis Villeneuve’s Oscar nominated Prisoners. It had several ferocious performances and a suitably downbeat finale but I just didn’t connect with it as much as I did with the nearly identical Big Bad Wolves. I only mention this because I absolutely love his followup, Enemy. In a year chock-a-block with doppelgänger films, only Villeneuve brings the appropriate amount of apocalyptic dread: everything in the film is drenched in sickly yellow hues, giving the feel of a jaundiced world collapsing in on itself. Nothing is explained, nothing is expected and the film takes some crazy turns that suggest Lynch and Cronenberg might have been the opposing angel/devil on Villeneuve’s ridiculously talented shoulders. Enemy is the kind of film where nothing terrible can happen, yet you still find yourself holding your breath and gritting your teeth so hard that you wear them to nubs. That’s a powerful film, ladies and gentlemen, and easily one of the most fundamentally frightening films of the year.

3.

Only Lovers Left Alive

only_lovers_left_alive_ver3_xxlg

Remember when I said “In any other year?” Yeah, well, in any other year, Jarmusch’s Only Lovers Left Alive would be a no-brainer pick for the top spot. I might be a Jarmusch fanboy but, if you’re smart, you are, too: the guy is a national treasure and should probably have a holiday named after him. There were so many ways that this lyrical, romantic, beautiful little film could have gone down in flames but ol’ JJ is too much of a pro to let any of it go off the rails. Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston are radiant as the ageless vampire lovers who languidly watch the eons pass by, while those stupid little humans provide endless entertainment. All of Jarmusch’s trademarks are here, from his brilliant script to the subtle little pokes he takes at any number of targets (the decaying corpse of Detroit makes a suitably Gothic backdrop). While I’ve had Dead Man and Down By Law tattooed inside my heart since the very first time I saw them, it looks like I’m gonna have to make room for some new ink. There are no perfect films? Try telling that to Jim.

2.

Under the Skin

Calvary

There are some films that you watch and there are some films that you experience: in all my years of watching movies, Jonathan Glazer’s Under the Skin is, perhaps, one of the purest examples of an “experience” I’ve ever had. It’s not so much that the film is highly hypnotic, although it is certainly that: rather, Glazer’s impossible to describe sci-fi/horror/surreal/metaphor-whatsit is in a class all its own. A nameless woman travels around Scotland, picks up guys and takes them home to meet an endlessly bountiful ocean of…nothing? Everything? We get just enough information to keep pace but Glazer isn’t interested in the obvious stuff: he shows us an astounding galaxy of possibility, yet wants us to focus on the miniscule, ant-like things beneath the microscope. Easily one of the most gorgeous, accomplished films of the year, genre or otherwise, Under the Skin is proof-positive that horror can be not only smart but sensual, vibrant and beautiful, as well. Perhaps you’re getting tired of hearing this but in any other year, there’s absolutely no way another film would take the top spot from Under the Skin.

1.

Housebound

HouseBound_Poster_11_Alt2

Remember when I said that the number one slot was pretty much a lock this year? Meet Housebound: my favorite horror film of 2014 and an instant classic. Is this a better film than Under the Skin, Only Lovers Left Alive or Enemy? Maybe, maybe not. I can tell you that New Zealander Gerard Johnston’s feature debut was pretty much tailor-made for my sensibilities, almost as if the tricky little bastard crawled into my frontal lobe and rooted around with a garden trowel. A young reprobate is sentenced to house arrest under the slightly cockeyed gaze of her sweet but weird mother. She thinks mom’s a square, mom thinks the house is haunted…you know, all the usual stuff. I’d sooner die than spoil any of the films endless surprises and joys but suffice to say that Housebound is uproariously funny, genuinely scary, immaculately made and features a truly thunderous performance from Morgana O’Reilly as the hooligan-turned-ghost buster. Did I mention that the film is also heartfelt and makes some surprisingly astute observations about mother-daughter relationships? I went in to Housebound with very high expectations and the film still managed to leap over them like Superman vaulting the Metropolis skyline. Let’s just say that I look forward to growing old with this film and leave it at that.

And there, gentle readers, is what I consider the eleven best horror films of the calendar year 2014. With a year as strong as this, however, there were bound to be lots of choices left on the cutting-room floor. I now present to you, in no particular order, the “honorable mentions” for the year. In any other year, yadda yadda…you know the drill, folks.

– – –

Here Comes the Devil — a strange, creepy, psycho-sexual warning about poking around in strange caves. Spoiler: don’t do it.

Big Ass Spider! — the first five minutes of this were five of the best minutes I spent watching a film all of last year. If the following 80 couldn’t quite hit that apex, well, I still don’t hold it against ’em.

Hellbenders — Profane, funny and action-packed, J.T. Petty’s Hellbenders was a few notches below Witching & Bitching but was still a helluva ride…pun intended. This story about exorcists who sin so that we don’t have to is like a game of spit-take chicken: the film will dare you to take the bet and you will lose, my friends…oh how you will lose.

Plus One — Someone had the bright idea to weld a dumb, “ultimate party” film with a super smart, paranoid sci-fi film about doubles, time paradoxes and alternate universes. It’s like finding out that the guy doing the keg-stand is an astrophysicist. It’s also one of the most quietly mind-blowing films I’ve seen.

The Den — By this point, found-footage horror is played out but The Den still managed to plow some relatively unfurrowed ground. The focus here is on modern technology and social media, with the underlying idea being that you never know exactly who might be on the other end. It could be a creepy perv or, in this case, a rather terrifying killer. This was one of the few horror films I’ve seen in recent years that actually had me looking over my shoulder a time or two: see this on a computer screen for maximum effect.

13 Sins — There’s something rather fearless about this little “what would you do for money, honey?” proposition, a queasy sort of acceptance that the filmmakers are going to take us on a little tour of places we’d rather not go. While the film occasionally dips into abject nonsense (where the Sam Hell did the ostrich come from?), it makes up for it with some setpieces of such howling insanity that I actually felt sick to my stomach. This has also got Ron Perlman in it which, as you should well know, means it’s automatically a must-see.

Willow Creek — I really liked Bobcat’s found-footage Bigfoot film even if the entire production struck me as an attempt to remake The Blair Witch Project and fix all of the problems. Mission accomplished: Willow Creek features fully sympathetic characters, genuinely funny scenes and a truly bravura ending showcased by a pretty impeccable 20 minute scene inside a tent. The film’s not perfect but it should help keep hikers out of the woods for at least a couple more seasons.

Knights of Badassdom — Essentially a variation on Army of Darkness, Joe Lynch’s LARPers vs succubus tale is primo horror-comedy, although it absolutely doesn’t skimp on the violence in the latter half (think ripped-open heads and the like). The cast is stellar, with Steve Zahn and Peter Dinklage turning in priceless performances as the perpetually stoned friends that have to get truly medieval on someone’s ass.

Almost Human — Lots of films try to slavishly emulate ’80s genre films but Almost Human is one of the few modern ones to really nail the grimy, lo-fi feel of the kinds of gems that used to litter video store shelves in the glory days of the VCR. There’s nothing terribly original here (guy is abducted by aliens, returned as an axe murderer) but the film embraces its schlock roots without resorting to overly cheesy affectations: the practical effects are pretty bracing (there’s some suitably ooky body-horror moments to go with the plethora of axe wounds on display) and the film is never silly, making for a suitably thrilling little rollercoaster.

Starry Eyes — There was a lot of hype behind this Fame-by way of-Faust-by way of-The Fly flick and, for the most part, it lived up to the press. This would have placed higher but the overly familiar story kept triggering deja vu in my poor, horror-addled brain. There may not be many surprises here (although the finale is a real corker) but the whole thing is flawlessly made and features some truly nasty practical effects. In the best possible way, this reminded me of early Cronenberg: I’m guessing the filmmaking team of Kevin Kolsch and Dennis Widmyer will grow into a pretty formidable machine.

Blood Glacier — Despite being a remake, very few films can touch John Carpenter’s The Thing: for my money, it’s the alpha and omega as far as frozen horror goes. Clear a spot in the alphabet for Marvin Kren’s Blood Glacier, however, a mutants-on-ice flick that throws plenty of global warming discussion at the audience, along with some of the weirdest, coolest monster designs I’ve seen in some time. At it’s heart, this is a good, old-fashioned monster movie and we can never have too many of those, now can we?

So there it is, folks: the twenty-three films that I considered to be the creme de la creme of the horror world in 2014. Next up, join me as I tackle the almost insurmountable task of selecting my favorite overall films from 2014. It’s a hard job but someone’s gotta do it…and that someone might as well be me. Stay tuned, folks…we’re just getting warmed up.

The Year in Review: The Best Horror Films of 2014 (Part One)

05 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by phillipkaragas in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

2014, Best of 2014, cinema, favorite films, films, films of 2014, horror, horror films, horror movies, Movies, personal opinions, year in review

497606412_640

At long last, we now get into the really good stuff: my picks for the best horror films of 2014. As with many of my selections this year, there’s a great deal of confusion as to when some of these films actually came out: many of them played at festivals well before their release date (some even “debuted” last year) but I only had access to them this year. In order to help keep some semblance of order, however, I’ve decided to break my choices down into two categories: the best horror films of 2014 and the runner-ups.

Anyone who follows The VHS Graveyard knows that our tastes may be wide-ranging but our true love will always be for the scary stuff. In order to get the best idea of what this year had to offer, I screened 70+ horror films: the films were released anywhere from January 1st, 2013, all the way to the end of this past November. Despite coming close to the triple digits, there were still plenty of notable films that I missed this year: as the year progresses, I expect to see most, if not all, of them…in certain ways, this list continues to be a work-in-progress but it should also be ready for public consumption as-is.

Before we get into the actual list, a final word regarding horror in 2014: despite what naysayers and critics continue to report, horror in 2014 did just fine. Sure, there may have been plenty of terrible multiplex stinkers like Ouija and Annabelle but there was also an enormous glut of quality indie films and plenty of surprises that flew below the radar. There were so many quality films last year, in fact, that I find myself in a bit of a conundrum: on any given day, any of the films in my “Runners’ up” list might have made the “Best of” column…in any other year, they all would have. It’s a problem that will repeat itself once we discuss the best all-around films of 2014 but it’s a really good problem to have: for the first time in ages, we’ve got more quality films than hours in the day to watch them.

For purposes of my list, I’ve gone ahead and numbered the Top 11 (because, obviously, this list goes to 11), although I’m still not sure if the order is correct. Let’s assume that the number one choice is but let’s also assume that rank, in this case, is a little fluid. Without further ado, I know present my favorite horror films of 2014.

The Top 11 Horror Films of 2014

11.

ABCs of Death 2

abcs_of_death_two_xlg

I’m one of the people (apparently, the very few people) who really liked the first ABCs of Death, even if there were a fair amount of clunkers among the 26 shorts. When the film was good, it was astounding: when it was bad, it was also pretty astounding, of course, albeit for different reasons. This time around, the ratio of “great” to “awful” is much more balanced: to be honest, I didn’t really hate any of the shorts, although some of them were more tedious than others. When ABCs of Death 2 is firing on all cylinders, however, it’s just about the most fun film I saw all year. This is the perfect party movie: get a bunch of friends together, plenty of booze and let the good times fly. On an interesting side note, many of the foreign films in the first ABCs of Death were Asian, while the ones in this installment tend to come from South and Latin America. The ABCs of Death: making the world smaller, one hacked artery at a time.

10.

Toad Road

toad-road-poster-4

I don’t normally like “gimmick” films but the one behind Toad Road is pretty irresistible: completely blurring the line between fact and fiction, filmmaker Jason Banker rounded up a bunch of young druggies, via Vice Magazine, let them indulge in the hedonism that would normally take place behind closed doors and filmed the proceedings. Were that all there was to the story, Banker’s film definitely wouldn’t make this list. As it stands, however, the writer-director folds the drug-taking/partying aspect into a real head-fuck of a story that involves (maybe) finding the doorway to Hell in the middle of the woods. Since the “real” footage blends so seamlessly with the faked stuff, it creates a completely disorienting feeling, as if one is actually disappearing into the film. Twisty, tragic and more than a little terrifying, Toad Road is one of the finest treatises on wasted youth that I’ve ever seen.

9.

Oculus

oculus-poster

One of my constant laments about modern horror films is the near complete lack of originality that’s become an inherent trait of the genre: nowadays, the average movie-going public doesn’t seem to want anything but sequels, remakes and “re-imaginings,” and most genre filmmakers seem only too happy to oblige. Mike Flanagan’s stately haunted mirror opus, Oculus, ends up being quite the booster shot to help inoculate against the disease: mature, frightening, exquisitely filmed and prone to some pretty shocking violence (the apple scene is a neo-classic, as is the jaw-dropping climax), Oculus is a film that doesn’t take its audience for granted and offers little in the way of hand-holding. We’ve had other “haunted mirror” flicks in the past but Flanagan’s imposing follow-up to his sleeper, Absentia, should shut the door tight on the imitators.

8.

Witching & Bitching

las_brujas0

Without a shadow of a doubt, Alex de la Iglesia is one of my favorite writer-directors in this modern-day and age. A fearless innovator who’s been quietly ripping shit up since the early ’90s, de la Iglesia is like a crazy combination of Peter Jackson and Alejandro Jodorowsky, taking the zany, over-the-top fantasy-based humor of the former and the surreal humanism of the latter to create something wholly unique. While de la Iglesia’s range is impressive (genre-based or not, The Last Circus is one of the finest films I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching), I like him best when he’s in full throttle mode. Witching & Bitching takes audiences back to de la Iglesia’s early days, when nothing was sacred and one over the top setpiece would roll into another with little rest. This modest little film about witches and the men who fight/love them is crude, politically incorrect, gorgeously made, ultra vibrant and, quite simply, one of the most “alive” films of the entire year. I think my smile lasted for about a week after I saw the movie but it may have been longer.

7.

Borgman

borgman-poster01

Putting Borgman on a list of the best horror films of the year might seem like sort of an odd call but I’ll stand by it: this was one of the most harrowing, nightmarish films I’ve seen in some time. Ostensibly a retelling of Passolini’s Teorema, the film spins out in a million weird, unpredictable ways and often makes as sense as a fever dream. Is Borgman some sort of woodland spirit? The Devil? God? Is he even there? Are we even here? Think too hard about any of it and you’ll find yourself stuck fast in a world where Wes Anderson and Michael Haneke are equally beloved, if aloof, deities.

6.

A Field in England

A FIELD IN ENGLAND POSTER A3-1

Against the explosive backdrop of 17th Century England, a few Civil War deserters end up in a massive, featureless field and wind up melting your face down to the bone. Not their faces, mind you: there’s nothing obvious about this film, least of all any conventional notions of “violence.” No, dear reader, I mean that they’ll melt your face off, at least if you’re anything like me. It might sound like silly hyperbole but when auteur Ben Wheatley’s film really roars into life, it feels like a tornado is blowing through your skull cavity. Many films will claim to approximate a drug experience “for the sober”: A Field in England doesn’t have time for silly promises or any sympathy for the unprepared…it just flattens you and keeps on rollin’. Wheatley is another of the film gods in my modern pantheon, a fearless, uncompromising force of nature who mines British history and culture for some of the most unforgettable films I’ve ever seen. The film comes with a warning about stereoscopic images. Jodorowsky would be proud.

11-6? Check and mate. What are my top five favorite horror films of 2014 (along with all the runner-ups)? Tune in for the next installment and find out who ends up ruling the roost.

The Year in Review: The Worst Films I Saw in 2014

05 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by phillipkaragas in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

2014, cinema, film reviews, films, Movies, personal opinions, worst films of the year, year in review

497606412_640

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: 2014 was a helluva year for film. Sure, there was the same glut of mega-budget superhero flicks at the multiplexes but the under-card was ridiculously deep and varied, much more so than last year (in my humble little opinion, of course). As a matter of fact, I saw so many great-to-amazing films last year that putting together my Best of…lists has been harder than ever.

No matter how many amazing films I saw this year, however, it doesn’t change the fact that there was a fair amount of crap clogging the pipeline, as well. As someone who doesn’t intentionally seek out bad films (I was cured of that after Sharknado became 90 of the most tedious minutes I ever suffered through), I managed to avoid some of the most well-known stinkers this season: had I seen them, I have absolutely no doubt that I, Frankenstein, Ouija and Annabelle would have staked out prime real estate on my Worst of…list. While I might eventually see these clunkers (like Dirty Harry, I know my limitations), there’s obviously no hurry to rush to last place.

No, loyal readers, this list of the worst films I saw in 2014 was arrived at the honest way: no “obvious” ringers here, just a bunch of movies that coulda been contenders but ended up being dog shit. With very few exceptions, I went into all of these films hoping for the best (I will admit that a few of these smelled from the get-go but hope springs eternal) but ended up with the very worst.

Once additional caveat, before we get to the list: as the above title indicates, these were the worst films I saw in 2014, although most of them were actually older films (the oldest being from 2003). Of the 18 clunkers on this list, only three are “officially” 2014 films, although those three are also some of the worst…go figure. Without further ado and in no particular order (other than the ultimate loser, that is), I now present the very worst films that I watched in an otherwise very good year of cinema:

– – –

Visitors (2003) — At first, this creepy little chiller set aboard an isolated sailboat has everything going for it. Once the film tips its hand too soon, however, we’re left sitting through the equivalent of a joke that’s already been spoiled in the set-up. By the midpoint, I just wanted to torch the whole thing and collect insurance money. Set adrift, indeed!

The Hamiltons (2006) — Utterly stupid rubbish about a killer family that stands as one of the most inept things I’ve ever seen. Imagine Dawson’s Creek crossbred with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and you’re close but oh so very far away. The filmmakers just announced a sequel, which gives me endless hope that Leonard Part 7 can’t be far behind.

The Last Rites of Ransom Pride (2010) — A film so dumb that I lost IQ points while suffering through it, I can find very little to recommend this insipid revenge Western. At first, the idea of Lizzy Caplan playing a tough-as-nails outlaw was appealing. Once the film turned into an Awesome Blossom of Awfulness, however, even poor Lizzy couldn’t keep me interested. On the plus side, the film is never boring, although neither is a forced colonoscopy.

Girl Walks Into a Bar (2011) — A gimmick film that manages to fail on each and every front. This is the kind of mess that you get when someone watches Three Days in the Valley and thinks: huh…I bet I could make that even more convoluted and dumb. Congratulations, buddy: hope you’re proud of yourself.

Stay Cool (2011) — Just look at that cast: Winona Ryder, Sean Astin, Josh Holloway, Jon Cryer, Chevy Chase, Dee Wallace, Michael Gross. Going in, I figured this would be, at the very least, an enjoyable romp. Staggering out of the other end, I wondered what the filmmakers were holding over the casts’ heads to make this happen. Blackmail isn’t nice, kids, and should never be used to cast your feature-length film. Always play nice.

Chillerama (2011) — I usually love horror anthologies and this one featured some very interesting directors but the whole mess was D.O.A. I’m absolutely no prude but suffice to say that this unfunny, crude, scatological and unpleasant “comedy” managed to repulse and dismay me in equal doses. Any filmmakers who wastes a national treasure like Ray Wise should be taken straight to the wall, final cigarettes optional.

The Comedy (2012) — I definitely wasn’t the target audience for this mean-spirited “hipster” fest, although I’m also not sure who was. Repetitive, filled with hateful characters and weirdly Dada, at times, The Comedy was the film that proved I’ll never really understand Tim and Eric, no matter how hard I try. The only moment that actually proved “enjoyable” was the ridiculous pew-shuffling scene involving LCD Soundsystem’s James Murphy. When irony attacks, indeed.

The Kitchen (2012) — Another massively irritating “comedy” about dopey-ass twentysomethings acting like teenagers, The Kitchen managed to earn my ire by completely squandering Laura Prepon. This film stretched credibility so much that it should have been called “Elastic”: just try to keep a straight face during the scene where the Lothario seduces a young woman into pleasuring him through an open window during a busy party. If the filmmakers can’t be bothered to take this shit seriously, why should I?

Butcher Boys (2012) — Once upon a time, Kim Henkel helped write a little film called The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. 38 years later, he collaborated with a couple of amateur filmmakers to create Butcher Boys, which attempts to jumpstart another cannibal clan ala the Sawyers. The only difference between the two films is that Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a bleak masterpiece of staggering power, whereas Butcher Boys is a brain-dead, tone-deaf, ridiculously shoddy, utterly worthless exercise in extreme fanboyism that floors the gas straight into irrelevancy.

Entity (2013) — This one managed to waste an awesome location on yet more asinine found-footage retreads. Along with the inherent sense of deja vu here, the film manages to be unnecessarily confusing, pouring on so many twists that the narrative becomes more than a little pretzel-shaped. Despite one or two convincing moments, this can’t shake the heavy aroma of direct-to-VOD crap.

Paranoia (2013) — Alright, look: there was no way this film was going to be amazing but it should have at least been entertaining, right? I mean, you have Harrison Ford, currently in the middle of his “I don’t give a shit, oh hey: pass the dutchie!” phase, along with Gary Oldman, who always plays a convincing badguy and Liam Hemsworth, that hunky dude from The Hunger Games. It’s set in a world of technological intrigue and features more criss-and double-crosses than you can shake a stick at. In reality, however, this is just another dull as dust, run-of-the-mill, action film that features one of the most tuned-out performances by Ford I’ve ever seen (was he even on-screen with the other actors or was this some LOTR-type CGI magic?). The biggest compliment I can give Paranoia is that it wasn’t the worst film I saw this year, just one of the most useless.

The Moleman of Belmont Avenue (2013) — I tend to love musical genre films, especially musical horror films, so this seemed like a sure-thing going in. Despite the presence of genre vet Robert Englund, however, everything about this feels Poverty Row: the production qualities are student-filmesque, the songs suck, the comedy is broad and stupid and none of the characters are likable. Worse yet, Englund is completely wasted as the aging apartment building Lothario: I threw up, a little, after being forced to listen to Freddy Krueger engage in disgusting phone sex…I’m betting you will, too.

After the Dark (2013) — While the rest of the film is clichéd and full of eye-rolling melodrama, the finale of After the Dark really marks this as something special: as one of the main characters kills himself, you can almost see the filmmakers cackling in glee and rubbing their hands together manically…”Got you, suckers!” In reality, it’s the equivalent of the kid who thinks he’s “winning” at hide-and-go-seek when, in truth, all of the other kids went home hours ago. The only thing truly surprising about the film is that anyone could deliver their lines with a straight face. Pray that none of these idiots ever need to lead us out of the end times.

Lizzie Borden Took an Axe (2014) — Here’s the thing: I didn’t realize this was a Lifetime film until I started it and my little rule about never (well, almost never) turning off a movie had kicked in. I don’t mind Ricci but this was a pretty astounding exercise in terrible filmmaking. Confusing, bombastic for no good reason (the stomping blues-rock that scored several slo-mo scenes was particularly eyebrow-raising) and absolutely ludicrous, this is pretty much good for only one thing: take a shot every time you see the repeated image of Lizzie caving in her dad’s head with an axe and you’ll be seeing stars before the midpoint. You’re welcome…I guess.

Gallowwalkers (2014) — Poor Wesley Snipes…all that time away and this is what we get…ugh…if it weren’t for a spectacularly terrible film on this list, Gallowwalkers might have been the worst film I saw all year. The film is terrible in so many ways but my favorite has to be the fact that all the vampires wear obviously fake, blonde wigs, for no apparent reason: that’s the kind of attention to awful that makes this stupid horror-Western one of the year’s very worst.

Goodbye World (2014) — Part of the way into watching this incredibly stupid film, I began to develop an antagonistic relationship with it: I kept daring it to get dumber, to insult my intelligence a little more and to keep ripping off better films with impunity. Like a true champion, Goodbye World kept calling my bluff and raising the stakes all the way to a phenomenally awful final revelation that basically amounts to some idiot on Facebook destroying the world. You win, Goodbye World…you win.

The Oxford Murders (2008) — I’m a huge fan of Spanish auteur Alex de la Iglesia: huge. In fact, up until I saw his English debut, The Oxford Murders, I had never seen a bad film by him. This, of course, all changed with one of the most insipid, Scoody Doo-esque mysteries of all time. Wasting Elijah Wood? That’s not nice but I’ll allow it. Wasting John Hurt? You’re killin’ me, smalls…you’re killin’ me.

And…drum roll, please…my pick for the very worst film that I had the misfortune of watching in 2014 is…

Jobs (2013) — While all of the aforementioned movies are absolutely terrible, there can be only one ring to rule them all and Jobs is that greasy, golden god. In the face of such organized, massive incompetence, it’s difficult to know where to look first: perhaps we should start with Ashton Kutcher’s “performance,” an acting feat that seems to consist entirely of self-satisfied smirks and raised eyebrows, ala a nerd version of The Rock. Perhaps we can look at the way in which the entire film feels like an extended SNL skit, as if the filmmakers sole goal was to craft the single most ludicrous, unbelievable biopic in the history of the medium. Maybe it’s all true…maybe none of it is…Jobs feels so utterly, completely inauthentic, however, that it’s impossible to take any of it seriously.

This is a film that can, perhaps, best be explained by paraphrasing Dr. Loomis’ famous assertion about Michael Myers: I spent the first 15 minutes trying to figure out if this was a joke and the last 113 minutes wishing it was a fever dream. I’m fully aware that all biopics weave in and around the historical record with impunity: rarely have I encountered a biopic that seems so heavily rooted in fantasy and opinion, however, as if the filmmakers gleaned all of their “facts” from a cursory glance at a Wikipedia page.

And there you have it: the worst film of the entire year, at least of the 350-something films that I managed to watch. Jobs is so bad, in fact, that I saw the movie at the beginning of April and my blood still boils when I think about it, nine months later. It’s a film that can handily join the ranks of such classic turkeys as Gigli or Mac and Me, the kind of thing that could (and should) inspire an entire cult of devoted worshippers: I’ll go ahead and coin the term “Jobbies” before someone else does…you can thank me later.

Coming up, we near the end of our year in review as we get to the big questions: I’ve talked about the films I missed, the ones that disappointed me and the ones I hated…all that’s left is to talk about are all of the amazing films that managed to wash the taste of these duds right out of my mouth.

The Year in Review: The Most Disappointing of the Year

04 Sunday Jan 2015

Posted by phillipkaragas in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

2014, cinema, disappointing films, film reviews, films, Movies, personal opinions, year in review

497606412_640

I saw lots of good films in 2014 and more than a handful of bad ones. There was another category of film, however, that I’d be remiss not to talk about: the disappointing ones. I now present the films that, for one reason or another, just didn’t do it for me. These weren’t terrible films, mind you, or even bad ones, in some cases…just films that I felt didn’t live up to their actual potential. Sometimes overhyped, sometimes near-misses, these were the movies that I wanted to love, but ended up not even really liking. In no particular order, then:

Odd Thomas — I actually like (or used to, it’s been a few years) Dean Koontz and don’t really mind Anton Yelchin but this adaptation of Koontz’s series was just obnoxious to sit through. Full of bad CGI and over-the-top performances, this was kind of like The Frighteners for dummies, albeit with a constant need to please. Not terrible, just so generic that it hurts.

Wolf Creek 2 — One of my biggest disappointments of the year. The original Wolf Creek is one of the most uncompromising, ferocious horror films I’ve ever seen: to see the character of Mick reduced to a third-rate, Down Under Freddy Krueger is kind of sad. Sure, there are plenty of amazing setpieces and some truly astounding gore (belt sander, anyone?) but that’s also why this sits here rather than under the Worst of the Year banner.

The Sacrament — Here’s the thing: I want to love Ti West…I really do. I think House of the Devil is one of the finest horror films around and I really appreciate his slow-burn approach to the subject. That being said, I haven’t actually liked anything else in his catalog, including his most recent. By the time that I realized The Sacrament was an A to Z retelling of the Jonestown Massacre, I kept hoping for a twist. The twist, of course, is that the film is incredibly well made and so devoid of surprise and invention as to be almost inert. Despite what the critics think, this was one of my biggest disappointments of 2014.

Mr. Jones — A great concept and measured execution somehow results in a bit of a mess. So much of this film is genuinely great (the Cthulhu nods are really cool) that it makes the hackneyed ending and general sense of confusion even more painful.

Escape From Tomorrow — An unofficial genre film shot guerilla-style in Disney World? Sign me up! The trailer and hype promised this would be something to set the world on its ear: what we got were some cool black and white visuals, some substandard “scary faces” and a weird obsession with teenage French girls. This had nothing but potential going in but I couldn’t be more disappointed with the outcome.

The Double — I really wanted to like this: great cast, director I respect, literary adaptation…what could go wrong? In truth, this was just as middle-of-the-road as it gets. In a year stuffed to bursting with double and doppelgänger films, The Double was one of the most highbrow and, easily, one of the most disappointing.

Cold in July — Oy…I absolutely adore Jim Mickle: I think that Stake Land is one of the best vampire films in the history of cinema and think his debut, Mulberry St. is pretty damn amazing. Hell, even his remake of We Are What We Are is great and I’m a guy that absolutely abhors remakes. All this is by way of saying that Mickle’s adaptation of Cold in July is not only his worst film, by a country mile, but one of the dreariest misses of the year. When the film is good, it hits some of the expected notes. For most of the runtime, however, it feels like a case study in missed opportunities.

Stage Fright — Call me cheesy but I’ve always enjoyed the musical episodes of genre shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Todd and the Book of Pure Evil. For my money, there just aren’t enough genre musicals like Repo or The Devil’s Carnival. That being said, Stage Fright is a musical that breaks the cardinal rule: none of the song are very memorable. Sure, it has its moments and Meat Loaf is always fun but it just seems like it could have been so much better. Plus, why the hell didn’t the killer have any killer tunes?

All Cheerleaders Die — This barely made it onto the list but here it is: there was lots to like here and I think Lucky McKee almost nailed the premise. That being said, there were too many points where the film surrendered itself to pure idiocy and it seemed to lose its way once it turned into a half-assed superhero film. I really wanted to love this and still think it did a great job in not overly-sexualizing the female characters. A little restraint might have made this a much better film.

Proxy — This looked great and had an appropriately thorny plot but it ended up collapsing completely by the midpoint, once one improbable plot twist after another was introduced. By the time the end credits rolled, the plot was full of more holes than Swiss cheese and my patience was gone. If Proxy didn’t look so damn good, this lukewarm DePalma hash would easily be one of the worst of the year. As it is, I can’t help but glare at it disapprovingly.

And there you have it: the films that disappointed me the most in 2014. Coming soon, we’ll take a look at my least favorite films of the year, followed by the all-important Best of 2014.

Subscribe

  • Entries (RSS)
  • Comments (RSS)

Archives

  • March 2023
  • January 2023
  • May 2020
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • July 2016
  • May 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013

Categories

  • Uncategorized

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • thevhsgraveyard
    • Join 45 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • thevhsgraveyard
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...